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Monday, November 8, 2010

A Follow-Up from Yesterday!

Today's posting from DailyOM.  We seem to have a theme here.  Please consider the bolded text.


November 8, 2010
Outside the Comfort Zone
Things We Don’t Want to Do

Putting off doing what scares us and brings up fear only creates more obstacles in our lives.


Most of us have had the experience of tackling some dreaded task only to come out the other side feeling invigorated, filled with a new sense of confidence and strength. The funny thing is, most of the time when we do them, we come out on the other side changed and often wondering what we were so worried about or why it took us so long. We may even begin to look for other tasks we’ve been avoiding so that we can feel that same heady mix of excitement and completion.

Whether we avoid something because it scares us or bores us, or because we think it will force a change we’re not ready for, putting it off only creates obstacles for us. On the other hand, facing the task at hand, no matter how onerous, creates flow in our lives and allows us to grow. The relief is palpable when we stand on the other side knowing that we did something even though it was hard or we didn't want to do it. On the other hand, when we cling to our comfort zone, never addressing the things we don't want to face, we cut ourselves off from flow and growth.

We all have at least one thing in our life that never seems to get done. Bringing that task to the top of the list and promising ourselves that we will do it as soon as possible is an act that could liberate a tremendous amount of energy in our lives. Whatever it is, we can allow ourselves to be fueled by the promise of the feelings of exhilaration and confidence that will be the natural result of doing it.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Strength of Our Personality and Belief Systems

Expansion:  What is our fear?


I've spent an interesting weekend with friends from all over the Eastern US and Canada.  It happens twice a year in Nashville.  It was really nice to see a lot of people with whom I enjoy sharing company.  

A hot topic of conversation was expansion.  It became quite complicated, but let's put it this way:  we're faced with situations, people, and influences that "pull us out of our comfort zone."  
 
How do we confront these conditions?

Well, I can tell you one modality that I'm certain that you use.  I certainly am extremely capable of doing the same.  When faced with opportunities to expand, we retreat back to our personality and our belief systems because they offer us a very safe and warm haven with which we have considerable experience.  

I'll give a recent example of how this works.  Look at the events of the past week in the US.  For those of yo who don't know to what I refer-- we had an election.  The results of this election were disappointing to a good number of Americans.  OK, let's consider or paradigm.

Event:  "Unfortunate Election Results"
Opportunity for Expansion:  Learning to Live with the Reality of "Unfortunate Results"
Potential for Growth:  Learning to live with the Ambiguities of a Situation that One Perceives as Unfortunate
Retreat into Personality:  Anger!  This is Horrible!  Let's React!
Retreat into Belief System:  I'm a Democrat/Progressive/Pro-Gay-Marriage/Supporter of Legalized Marijuana and this is just not good for us.

Do we get the picture?  We lost an opportunity.

By the way, this blog entry is not about the elections.  Yes, by the way, I did react to the elections.

Look at your life, just look at it (LOL)!  How can this paradigm be applied to your cognitive processes?  It can't?  Congratulations, you are the unique winner of the game of life.  If you find that you also follow this unhealthy line of reasoning-- Welcome to the human race.

I've given an example.  Think of one yourself.  How can you turn these episodes, people and/or upsetting situations into an auto-didactic moment?  Can you look at it from a clinical point of view and not pass judgement on yourself?   Drop me a line and let me know how it works.